I need helpe with a manga im writing!!!! PLEASE HELP?!?!?!?

Thats pretty good only it might be a little cliched... So when ur filling in the missing parts and trying to find reasons for why this and that happened, think outside the box. As for the characters names, Fate sounds good...mystical in a way. The older bro could be the general aloo type characteristics: black hair and blue eyes maybe. Have fun with it :)